Finding out that you have a mental disorder is not easy. It's not that I'm cursing that I have ADD but during my journey of finding out that I had ADD, I had to go through discouraging reactions and comments from the people I care about and the people who care about me.
I'm writing this because I know those people came from a caring place. So for those who have friends, partners, family or anyone close to you who you know or just found out they have ADD/ADHD, I hope my experience can help you understand them a little better.
1. NEVER say that their ADD/ADHD is a crutch
The last thing a person facing the struggles of being an ADD/ADHD-er is that it is a problem. By reacting negatively to their ADD/ADHD, it turns an enlightenment on how to help them cope and take advantage of their ADD/ADHD to a curse and a mental disease that they can never heal from.
2. NEVER deny their right to say they have ADD/ADHD or pretend that it's nothing
When I first opened up to people about upon knowing I had ADD, I got comments like "Are you sure you have ADHD? Your doctor might be wrong. I think you're fine." and "Oh, but I'm very forgetful too. Maybe I have ADHD too."
By saying things like that, it makes it even more difficult for an ADD/ADHDer to open up to you about what they're going through and it discourages them to seek treatment and help that they really need.
3. Don't be to quick to say ADD/ADHD is not an excuse.
Yes, ADD/ADHD should not be an excuse to succeed in something or to do something. ADD/ADHDers can be extraordinary people! But we do struggle in things that most people have no problems with. So, don't be to quick to judge a person, who has seeked professional help or even people who wants to seek help, that the reason they say have ADD/ADHD is to use it as an escape card.
Instead, what you can do is...
...be open with them and ask them to share their thoughts. Ask them "what is ADD/ADHD and their understanding of it?", "what have made them realize this?" and "how will they move forward?". And most probably, you might not be able to understand or relate but what they just need is for someone to listen and not judge them. Then, reassure them that ADHD is not a disadvantage but a strength to be leverage on. Encourage them to seek help and continuously read up about it.
And let's say they might have overreacted over a random Google... If they truly feel like they're struggling and are desperate to find ways to cope, there's no harm in seeking professional help. Because even if it isn't ADHD, it might be something else that they're battling with.
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